It is a proven fact, that the early years of our lives shape who we are and how well we cope with challenges in adult life. A traumatic experience in childhood can have lasting effects. Exploring emotions is vital.
All human beings have emotions. They start to develop at an early age, often when toddlers don’t really understand what they are yet. The common one in our house at the moment is missing other people. This involves a daily conversation filled with reassurance, that everyone misses the people they love.
Because toddler emotions are a challenge I currently face. And I know other parents definitely go through this cycle, I wanted to write a post dedicated to the best stories I could find, discussing children’s emotions.
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Let’s look at the research into why we should explore emotions
Why emotions are important
Understanding children’s emotions are critical to understanding their behaviour. Early years children feel a range of emotions, but often cannot express, interpret or process them like us.
With poor emotional skills, it could be harder for children to learn:
- acceptance
- resilience
- confidence and control
- how to articulate experiences
- a sense of identity
- empathy
- a sense of self
What Is Social and Emotional Development
Children grow and develop rapidly in their first five years across the four main areas of development. These areas are motor (physical), communication and language, cognitive, social and emotional.
Social and emotional development means how children start to understand who they are, what they are feeling and what to expect when interacting with others. It is the development of being able to:
- Form and sustain positive relationships.
- Experience, manage and express emotions.
- Explore and engage with the environment.
Positive social and emotional development is important. This development influences a child’s self-confidence, empathy, the ability to develop meaningful and lasting friendships and partnerships, and a sense of importance and value to those around them. Children’s social and emotional development also influences all other areas of development.
Parents and caregivers play the biggest role in social/emotional development because they offer the most consistent relationships for their children. Consistent experiences with family members, teachers and other adults help children learn about relationships and explore emotions in predictable interactions.
To nurture your child’s social and emotional development, it is important that you engage in quality interactions like these on a daily basis, depending on the age of your child:
- Be affectionate and nurturing: hold, comfort, talk and sing with your baby, toddler and child.
- Help your baby experience joy in “give-and-take” relationships by playing games like “peek-a-boo.”
- Provide your toddler with responsive care, letting them practice new skills while still providing hands-on help.
- Support your child’s developing skills; help him/her, but don’t do everything for your child, even if it takes longer or is messy.
- Teach social and emotional skills, such as taking turns, listening and resolving conflict.
What happens if we don’t manage emotions
One of the most important ways parents or guardians can help is by listening to their children and taking their feelings seriously. They may want a hug, they may want you to help them change something or they may want practical help.
Children and young people’s negative feelings usually pass. However, it’s a good idea to get help if your child is distressed for a long time if their feelings are stopping them from getting on with their lives, if their distress is disrupting family life or if they are repeatedly behaving in ways you wouldn’t expect at their age.
Mentalhealth.org.uk
Let’s dive into the list of stories that explore emotions with toddlers and children
What’s Troubling Tawny?
What’s Troubling Tawny? The award-winning second book in the Sumatran Trilogy! Tawny longs to make friends with another rhino, but her shyness holds her back. When she meets a hornbill called Tallulah, she is surprised to learn that she has a lot in common with the beautiful bird.
The Problem With Poppy
Poppy the porcupine has always wanted to make a friend, but her defensive nature prevents her. When a young tiger cub stumbles upon her one day in the rainforest, she reacts badly and scares him away.
Determined to change her ways, she sets out to find him, but little does she know that the tiger cub is about to have a problem of his own. In the face of danger, will Poppy find a way to save the day?
The Problem with Poppy is the award-winning debut picture book by British author Emma Sandford. Illustrated by Ukrainian artist Olena Osadcha.
Sarah’s Shadow
If you could change something about yourself, would you do it?
When Sarah Simpkins is teased about her shadow in the school playground, she finds herself wishing she didn’t have one.
That night she has the chance to make the wish come true. But will losing her shadow really make her happy?
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Let’s Be Friends Again
Purchase the book below:
Let’s Be Friends AgainKids World Books – Sibling fights, tantrums and subsequent bonding is the theme of this story.
The story is narrated by a boy and he narrates rather than shares his experiences with his sister. The boy and the girl play together. They spend most of their leisure time together. Just like every sibling, they fight often and bond subsequently.
The boy finds some trouble with his sister. The boy sometimes babysits for his sister and she used to trouble him! However, she was a good listener and the boy used to tell some great stories. The boy refused to share his toys with her. Yet, the smart girl used to grab all her brother’s toys. The tantrum began when the girl played with his brother’s pet turtle!
The girl thought that the tank where the pet turtle was kept was too small for the turtle. She carried it to the pond and let it free in the pond.
The boy was as angry as he lost his pet turtle. He showed his anger in many ways. He shouted at her. He threw away his toys and kept on thinking about his turtle. His parents supported his sister. He planned to avenge the loss of his pet and imagined many things. (This is definitely a fun part that everyone would die laughing).
He couldn’t sleep for hours thinking about the pet. He then saw his sister playing in the garden so happy like never before. The boy was surprised as well as very angry seeing her sister happy.
He made a decision! What was that?
Let’s be friends again, the lovable brother and sister, their cute fights, rivalry, etc are narrated beautifully. It happens very commonly in every household.
Children and young people are still developing – they don’t have adult brains or bodies, so need help to understand and manage their emotions.
You’ve probably heard your parents or grandparents say “they’re just attention seeking” or “they’re being difficult”. But there’s usually more to it than this.
We often ask people who contact Children 1st Parentline: “What is your child trying to tell you when they’re acting like that?” Looked at this way, unwanted behaviour is usually about a child needing something – or their way of trying to work out how to manage something.
From a toddler’s need for comfort to a teenager’s conflicting desires for independence and security, testing behaviour is common and is often set off by everyday experiences rather than big events.
Children1st.org.uk
When Worley gets Brave
READ ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Jodi also thinks the book will come just at the right time for children who have had to shut themselves away all year and might be scared to try something new.
She added: “It is a lovely story for 4–7-year-olds about taking yourself out of your comfort zone to try new things.
“Worley’s story is a fab way to engage children with these cute little monsters and learn how to develop their confidence.
“The book also included suggested activities for parent and adult readers.
“I’m also now writing my second story for the series about Worley and Co!
When Worley gets Angry
How to teach children how to deal with anger, through the character of Worley and his friends.
READ ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
She has produced books – which tell the story of very special monsters who face different emotions – in her efforts to help children talk about their feelings.
“Having suffered quite a bit as a kid – I lost my dad at 10 and my best friend at 14 – and had a lot of bullying and not nice things going on and I didn’t know how to cope,” she explained.
“That had a massive effect on me as an adult which led to a breakdown. I don’t want kids to go through what I did. The more people I can teach and I can help the better. I don’t think I would have had as big a meltdown if I already had tools to use.
“My characters are all monsters – I have a whole tribe of emotions monsters that teach children about emotions. Worley is the main one and he meets his friends with different emotions.
“The first one was teaching him to be brave and through the monster, you learn you might make a mistake but it will be fine. He realises he doesn’t need to be the best at everything.
“The second book is about anger. The book is written as a rhyme; basically, Worley gets angry and doesn’t know what it is. His friend George, the angry monster, teaches him it is ok to be angry and how to manage it.
“It is done in quite a fun way so children can understand.”
Buster Finds His Beat
Purchase the book below:
Buster Finds His BeatA feel-good story about an autistic boy,
That will capture your imagination and fill you with joy.
Buster uses ear defenders to soften sounds he hears,
Find out what happens when he faces his fears…
Pick up your copy, you’ll be in for a treat,
As he uses the power of sound to find his own beat.
Hector
The first book in a new rhyming picture book series from D.M. Mullan and Kirsteen Harris Jones – welcome to D.M. Mullan’s Curious Tales… Hector van Groat If something is missing, and you’re feeling blue, you could learn from Hector, who feels this way too. This little genius lives in an upside-down boat, and he grunts from his hill like a grumpy old goat. “Hector van Groat needs no one but Hector because he is a genius, a crazy inventor”.
Where Is My Smile?
A beautifully illustrated picture book about mental health for young readers. Where Is My Smile? is the story of a little boy who can’t find his smile anywhere. He searches and searches, but it’s nowhere to be found. Where could his smile be? This delightful picture book is perfect as a bedtime story, and to help little children understand that it’s okay to be sad sometimes, but we can always find our way through it.
Final Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading my list of books to inspire conversations with your toddler about emotions.
Do you have any of these books? Or will you be purchasing them? What techniques do you use to explore emotions?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
My mom runs a daycare, and growing up I was around children pretty much the whole time. It’s important to know what feelings they’re conveying, and how to teach them the proper reactions to situations. I love the books you included, because it’s easier for readers to make the next step. Thank you!
https://www.thelazygal.com/how-to-almond-butter-bowl/
I totally agree. It is up to us as adults to make sense of childrens’ emotions. Books are a great way to talk about emotions together.
Wow what a great topic! I think it’s so important that people are teaching their children this these days. I was just talking with a fellow Gen X friend of mine on how difficult it was for us as we learned to deal with processing our emotions in a healthy way later on in life. This is a really great article.. thanks for sharing!
Thank you for the great feedback. I feel the same about some of the emotions I may have suppressed when I was younger. I am glad children are taught to be a bit more open these days.
Some lovely titles here, perfect for helping your little ones. I’ve never understood why some people dismiss babies and toddlers as having genuine feelings, because when they can’t articulate them precisely, those emotions are even stronger.
This is such a great point. Toddlers can be frustrating at times, but I always try and put myself in their shoes. How much emotion would you feel if you had something to say, but just didn’t know the words yet? Bless them.
It’s been 40 years since I had a toddler but I remember it be one of the most challenging times of childhood. Great tips that are sure to help others.
It is such a challenging time and exhausting for parents. I also hope these books help parents to guide their little ones through it all.
I’ve been saying how important emotional education for children is. This is such an important post thank you for sharing with everything going on in the world at the moment and so it’s vital that parents get the opportunity to read articles like this. The materials available now ie books, forums, blogs etc are a blessing. Thanks again for sharing.
Aww, this is such a lovely comment – thank you! And I am also so glad there are resources out there to help parents/carers/ childcare providers. It’s great.
Absolutely. We talk about emotions daily.
One of the key findings from my decades of qualitative research interviewing children and dads/granddads about the qualities kids find most desirable in their dads, in addition to wanting/needing dads to really BE there for them mentally as well as physically, is that kids want to be taken as seriously as they take themselves. Your post reinforces that truth – that we take our children’s emotions seriously and that we let them KNOW that we do. So important to establish early on – earlier the better! Loved this post and shared with our Twitter followers, as well – cheers!
I totally agree with this. We both wanted to be involved in my little one’s life, so we created a weekly routine where we both had weekdays with her. Granted, we would both love more time. But it works.
Emotional education is so important. Having a 2 year old myself, I enjoyed reading this!
Thank you – and it is so important. These early days matter so much for their future selves. No pressure as parents!
Hi Sam. What an excellent selection of books to help make it easier to explore toddler emotions. Kids have a lot to cope with these days, that’s for sure.
Definitely. I am so happy these books exist and I just had to share them with everyone else.
Great post – I’ll be buying some of these for my whirlwind Goddaughters
Thank you. Aww, that’s cute. We have a literal whirlwind living with us.
This is very helpful. Not only for my children, but for my students with special needs as well.
I am so glad you found the post helpful.
I found navigating my toddlers emotions so difficult! Thankfully now she’s nearly four things are a little easier, but like you say I think it’s because she understands her emotions a little bit more now. I’m pretty conscious of the books we bring back home especially when it comes to emotions / mh / diversity etc. These all sound like such great examples.
Claire.X
http://www.clairemac.co.uk
It’s good things have got a bit better for you. Yesterday, I got told off for saying strawberry in the house and not waiting until the supermarket. You can’t win as a parent. You just have to support them.
Talking openly to your children about emotions is so important and the earlier you can do that with them the better. As it can be hard for them to express emotions when they are unaware of what they mean. These books will be really helpful. I will definitely been checking out your blog posts like these when I am fortunate enough to have a baby. Thank you for sharing.
Lauren. X
Aww, I am so happy you found this post useful.
This is such an important topic and one that us often overlooked. Approaching this subject with the use of books is a fantastic idea.
I love that we can read books to children, but also really get a message across to them.